Second, I changed the font colours. Hope they're better now.
Third, this morning, I shouted at some people regarding having lesson till 1pm, namely Guodong, Liu Pu and I forget who else, well, I apologise. Gomen nasai. I was just very stressed when I think of all the things I have to do.
Fourth, my friend talked to me today and he said that I should stop bothering about other people's problems, stop bothering about the class, about the blog. He said that I should just spend more time doing my own work, instead of others' works. He said that if people don't do their work that they are supposed to do, then why should I do for them? I can go to the teacher and report. He said that I should not put down my own leisure time, study time, time to do what I like, time to do what I would readlly enjoy and be appreciated for and do things that nobody appreciates.
And I thought, yar, I can spend more time on my revision and I won't receive such sucky results, and I can spend more time doing my translations which I neglect to help people, and I can spend more time to do my job as a moderator which I neglect and get scolded for, and I can spend more time working out my costume and props. It is not like I have never thought of stop bothering about other people, it is not like I have not thought of ignoring other people who's in need... but I just can't bring myself to do that. But that does not mean that I need to sacrifice my time to do my own things to do things for others while the others don't even appreciate or make an effort to show their support, they spend their time playing and doing whatever they like. I feel like I'm been used.
Is this a class blog? Or is it Hal's blog? What's with all the entries ending with "from Hal"? I stopped bothering about my own blog and devoted my time to design this blog and maintain this blog which I could have jolly well use for my own blog and be happy. Seriously, I'm not pin-pointing anyone because there isn't a point to that. Who's gonna care? My friend asked me, you helped them, you got yourself into all these issues and troubles, who's gonna help you? Do they care if your result sucks? Do they care if you die because your mom's gonna heck you to pieces if she found out how much time you spent NOT doing homework? I didn't answer him. Because I don't know the answer. Because I know that everyone's busy too, some maybe more busy than me that's why I didn't want to push these things to other people. That's why I do as much as I can on my own. But he reminded me that I have my LEP committee to devote to, I have my violin grade 8 [which is more crucial than my own life] to devote to, I have my life and studies to devote to. Maybe I'm just too stupid. *shrug* Other people can devote their time to a lot of things and they can still do well. Too bad to disappoint you, but I'm not one of these people, I am just a very normal person with a not very high IQ.
I am not complaining or asking for sympathy or anything, and I don't really expect any change to this blog's activities. I just wanted to let people know my situation and to let them know that I am not a strong person, at least not as strong as they think I am. But please do not pity me or anything, just try to understand. Domo arigatou gozaimashita.
P.S. Tian Xin, sorry to make you worry with my tears and arigatou for your shoulder today. The lor mee tasted bad.
~~ Hal
